Warning! Toxic Relationship

Tell me what kinda man would treat his woman so cold. Treats her like she’s nothing when she’s worth more than gold. Girl to me you’re like a diamond I love the way you shine. A hundred million dollar treasure ill give the world to make you mine….nah, nah, nah, nah, nah… -Joe

The Answer: A man who has been Beaten and abused himself. A man who is hurting and insecure. A man who doesn’t know his own worth….

I heard this song on the radio last night and it came on just in time.

I was sitting in the car with him and the day was still fresh and new. We had both picked out new outfits to go explore the scene. Our first stop was a nice habatchi resteraunt. It was very nice. Our conversation was actually going well and it seemed that we were getting along just fine.

When we got back in the car there was an eerie sense as he placed his hand behind my neck and said, “I’m sleepy.”

He asked me if I had found the place I wanted to go to after the Resteraunt. Of Course! I wanted to go dancing! I had never been dancing before and it was a fresh feeling on my heart to do so. There is nothing like live music and everyone vibbing together….

Something had changed. He didn’t want to go and there was no way around it. The next option was to walk the bridge , but that was a no too. So I suggested that he takes me home, and he did.

I hopped in my car and decided to go dancing myself (which wouldnt be as fun as two, but he didn’t want to go).

…I Never went.

Next thing you know, I get a text saying “You chose dancing over me.”

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And there it was…the door had opened and he left out my life.

I decided not to fight back. We both could have tried to come to a middle ground and communicate, but it just wasn’t there anymore. We had been talking for almost 2 years now and this was our second or third time going to a Resteraunt. As I look back over and examined it all, most of the time we spent was working out and watching movies. Which I didn’t mind, but We never did well together in public, and now I know why. He was threatened by my strength and confidence. He wanted me down at his level. But, I refuse.

When the song had came on, I realized I was that woman in the song. I am worth more than gold. What good is a diamond nobody can see? Yes, I literally felt on lock. Even Jesus says that we are a candle on a hill shining Gods glory for everyone to see.

In all my life I’ve never imagined jumping from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. This one was very subtle, but I’m glad the war is finally over. Do I  hate him?  No. He was the product of abuse from others.

This man has been beaten down and abused so much that he doesnt realize how much he does it to others, including himself.  Last night was the first night that I realized his jokes were meant to cut me and each time he made a mistake it was my fault. But, no matter what weapon the enemy used through him, it won’t prosper. I rise above it. I am excited to see how God takes the broken pieces of his life and create something beautiful.

Are you in a toxic relationship? You’ll know because you’ll stop fighting for it and let God take the wheel. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. But Jesus came that we may have life more abundantly. 

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  • They want to isolate you from friends or even family.
  • They make excuses for not going out in public
  • They battle Insecurity / Shyness
  • They tend to insult or belittle you, even when “joking”.
  • They blame others a lot, and often times it’s you.
  • Alcohol and drug use that causes erratic behavior can be a catalyst of abuse.
  • They instill fear, uneasiness or are intimidating in their speech or actions.
  • They punish you or retaliate for time you spend away from them.
  • They expect you to be subservient but aren’t helpful themselves.
  • They are extremely jealous of your time, relationships and/or aspirations.
  • They manipulate your emotions and make you feel guilty.
  • They get physical. Obviously hitting someone is abusive, but physical abuse can start as intimidating posturing, grabbing or controlling your movements and space.

If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help immediately. Its better to have supporters and people around who can see things that you cannot see. You were never meant to go through this alone.

If you know someone who is abusing others subtly or extremely, first understand that someone has done the same to them so they think its Love and  its supposed to be this way, but its not. Anytime someone wants to hurt others, its because they’re hurting too. BUT its going to take God to heal their hearts. You cant do it all by yourself. Get help!

& Always Pray.

I thank God for my friends who helped me through this. God bless you 💕