“I am God’s original Masterpiece.”
Last night, on my way home I was guilty of whining again; asking God why things had to be so hard, as if I didnt learn this same lesson the other day.
But, its all in the process. It reminds me of the time I worked as a pre-k paraprofessional. Everyday was a routine for the children. They knew exactly where they should be and why…. Did they follow through? No!
And that’s where my job came in. …I was to make sure they were right where they were supposed to be and doing just what they were supposed to be doing. (…with all of the kicking, screaming, and drooling boogers involved.)
Just like those whiny 3 year olds, we too are a work in progress at the age we are now, and our process, package, and delivery will look so much differnt than others around us.
So, when certain things begin to hurt in life, God is smoothing out the rough edges and making us fit for his use. Its the refinement process; making sure we are right where we supposed to be, doing just what we are supposed to be doing: on the Potters Wheel.
Well, I had a painful yesterday.
At the age of 25, I am starting to wonder why God puts two people together. It’s so hard. …I mean obviously men and women must be from two differnt planets right?……wrong.
I spent the entire day with my friend yesterday for the first time in a long time and instead of having a joyful day, it sucked. Why? Because I fell into the trap of …control / comparison and skipped over the beautiful city of thanksgiving.
Before we start, No, we do not live together and we’ve made that decision clear; to wait til marriage to move in.
This is how it all went down.
I was Excited! I had keys to a couple of hours of Freedom! At least I thought. In my mind, I had already made up that as soon as I got there, I would start working on my website with no delays or distractions.
But to my surprise, there he was. lol. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was happy to see him, but I was looking for solitude.
For a person who is still in the process of letting things go, it threw me out of wack that I didn’t get the solitude that I wanted… But that’s ok, this will be a good day I thought…..and then, I thought again…
YES, after a few hours, the tiny seed of destruction had crept in and my thoughts whirrled out of control.
“I’m in front of the camera; he’s behind the camera, I’m selfish.”
“Hes really good at silent work like networking and getting the views up on youtube channels and all the tech stuff. I am not techno at all, am I even useful?”
“I got hungry and ate all the food in the house. He had patience enough to wait until I cooked. Dang….”
“When I did cook, I apparently “rushed” and almost burnt up the food and smoked up the house.(so he decided to silently come help, which made me feel incapable.)…dang, I’m incompetent.”
“When the food was done, I’m still trying to make up from not finishing the work from earlier, while he’s on the couch eating in peace and laughing at a really good movie that I couldnt even enjoy because I was trying to finish business on my laptop….Ill be single forever! We dont relate!”
BOOM! BAM! POW! ….there it goes, out the window…..my joy.
I started examining myself and started feeding into the lies that I’m selfish and incapable of marriage, and I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. A few more comparison issues came up and next thing you know, I gave up because I felt unworthy of this call of duty. Ill never be capable. Its going to take a miracle!
(Starting to sound like the 3 year olds.)
Well, as I look back and reflect: yes, relationships are not my strong point. I can live a life single and carefree so easily, but I heard a preacher saying that the reason things can get so hard is to prove that Only God Can Do It. Only God can bring us out from where we are. Only God can lift us up where we are torn down. Only God can restore those years that the enemy has eaten up and destroyed. Only God can smooth out those edges and turn you into a beautiful work of art!
But, God requires one small thing from us; to believe.
Many of you like me, have small faith in certain departments. Mine is in Family, Friendship, Marriage, and Love, but God said in his word that “if you have faith as small as a tiny mustard seed, it can move mountains.”
So, I’m learning that little becomes much when you place it in Gods hands.
Remember when I said, “Its going to take a miracle?” …well, You best believe it will!
We serve a mighty God that specializes in the impossible. The process may seem never-ending, but keep pressing. Don’t give up. Stay on the Potter’s Wheel.
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